Nov 15, 2018
Let’s get right to it: If the relationships in your life are life-sucking instead of empowering relationships, you’re going to have a hard time accomplishing any kind of personal transformation. It’s as simple as that. But it’s not so simple to actually make changes when it comes to those unhelpful relationships, is it?
In this episode, we take a look at what it means to have disempowering relationships, in a variety of contexts, and discuss how you can trade them in for empowering ones. Listen to hear how we’ve experienced this decision in our own lives and have seen it play out in the lives of clients over the years.
Before we go very far into this post, let’s get one thing clear. You should never end relationships that don't support your desire for personal transformation until you fill your life with empowering relationships that can not only take the place of the ones you choose to step away from but can serve you in ways your current relationships can’t. Transformation happens by addition - intentional steps of positive change that set you up for success.
We are eager to communicate what we’ve seen work and what we’ve seen bomb when it comes to making choices about relationships - because we don’t want you to make painful mistakes in this area. Listen to hear how we’ve experienced good relational decisions and how we’ve learned to let go when it’s needed.
Let’s look at the issue of health as an example: If you’ve decided that it’s time for you to make a change in your health, you’ll likely be making changes to your eating and exercise routines. You may be establishing clear guidelines for yourself for the very first time. Who are the people most likely to understand the decision you’ve made and be supportive of you?
ANSWER: Others who have chosen to make the same kind of changes in their lives.
Where will you find those people? You might find them among close friends or family, and if you do, that’s a real plus. But it’s not always the case… in fact, it’s rare. There are reasons for that and we get into some of them on this episode. But for now, realize that you need connection with others who are on your same transformation journey. They may be members of the same club or fitness center you go to. They likely are. Get out of your own way by being friendly, striking up conversations, and taking the initiative to surround yourself with people who can be supportive. Empowering relationships like we’re describing can make all the difference.
Many of us don’t make the changes we need to make because of what the people close to us might think. Will they accept our decision to change? Will they sabotage us because our decision is a threat to them? Will we be able to hold true to our decisions should they be skeptical or unsupportive?
Those questions sound legitimate at first, but at the root of every one of them is this fact: Asking them shows that we’re caring too much about what others think. Life is short. We only get one shot at it. Do you want to live it worrying about the opinions of others, trying to please them instead of creating the kind of life you really need and want? Listen to hear how you can begin making choices that will transform the rest of your life.
For some reason relationships are one of those things in life that feel like they deserve constant attention and focus. But is that true? Don’t misunderstand - relationships are one of the most important things in life, but they don’t all carry the same weight, do they?
One of the points we cover in this episode is that it’s OK to say goodbye to some relationships - and we specifically mean the ones that are counter-productive to the life you want to be living. The kind of transformation you want and need can only happen if the relationships in your life are empowering ones. Listen to learn what we mean - and how to ask yourself the hard questions that help clarify the relationships in your life.
Subscribe to The Transformation Show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher